The Southern Belle Showboat on Riverfront Dr.

Well, as promised, the Wilson family hit the Southern Belle Showboat before the end of August for $5 each, instead of the regular price of $14 each. I'm thankful for the price break, because we braved the rain.

The morning weather fooled me. I chose this outing during a pretty day, saving indoor outings for icky days. However, 20 minutes into our hour-and-a-half tour, the sky opened up. We braved the rain against the white iron rails of top deck, dancing in the droplets, for a brief moment, and then we huddled under the blue metal rooftop, desperately hoping to enjoy the riverview and avoid pneumonia at the same time. The rain found us, a group of about 20, shooting under the roof through the open air. We relented and scooted downstairs, but not before we bought two hot dogs and a pink lemonade, a la carte.

The children enjoyed the second floor. They all squeezed into the ladies' restroom (found on floor 2 and floor 1, as well!) to experience the warmth of the hand-dryer on their wet heads. Then they ran up and down the open aisles to the small stage, jumping up and down, forward and backward. Amidst their squeals of glee, the pop music faded out and a narrative tour began. I remember hearing about massively expensive houses up ahead and an island that has restrooms, walking paths, "and everything you need," but no way to get to it but by canoe. So I'm thinking, if it doesn't have Wal-mart, it doesn't have everything I need! I apologize to those patrons on the second deck with me and my loud children if I ruined the highlight of your trip--the historical narrator. (On their website, ChattanoogaRiverBoat.com, they say they'll customize their narration for the curriculum you're studying in school! Nifty, huh? If only you can get the kids to sit quietly to listen!)

I enjoy letting my children behave as children. I try to choose venues that allow for that, and indeed, the top deck, completely outdoors and secured by an iron fence, provided a wonderful outlet for energetic silliness. The enclosed second deck didn't suit their tendencies all that well, but few people remained there with us, so I allowed their antics while I perused the photographs and drawings of historic paddleboats. They hung a photograph from 1902 labelled simply, "Knoxville," complete with passengers! I reveled in the experience of an actual bit of history--not a movie reenactment. One drawing touted the tin-clad paddleboat of the Civil War era. I bet that was a sight to behold--tin, floating on the water, in 1864!

We exited through the gift shop, which, I am learning, any reputable company insists upon. We viewed our photograph, lovely, which can be yours for $20. I think they green-screened a pretty boat scene behind us. I can't be sure. We had sopping, hungry, irascible children with us, so we made a beeline for the exit.

All in all, I enjoyed this tour for $5 each, ages 3-12 and adults, plus $1 per vehicle for parking for 2 hours. I don't think I would have been that enthralled with the tour at regular price. They request reservations if you decide you want to upgrade to the buffet ticket. They also arrange sleepovers for a minimum of 50 guests at $40 each! That would certainly be memorable.

As for me, entering a Southern Belle Riverboat on a beautiful, sunny, mild day smiling and dry, and exiting said Southern Belle Riverboat on a stormy, dark, angry day sopping wet, hungry, and hurried will be memorable enough.

That and the video of the kids dancing the rain.